duamuteffe (duamuteffe) wrote,
duamuteffe
duamuteffe

It's Angrying Up My Blood - Crimson Death Chapter Sixty-Three

"THE SANDWICHES WEREN’T Irish; they were just food. When you’re ordering sandwiches that can be eaten while you look at paperwork and photos on a crowded table, a sandwich is a sandwich is a sandwich. It wasn’t a bad sandwich, but it wasn’t great, either. It really was just another work trip for me except that I was the only one who got a Coke to drink; even Edward got bottled water. "

It's bizarre to me that even the author is admitting there's really nothing Irish about this book.

The-Cop-What-Hates-Anita and the police chief are off somewhere, so it's Podward and Sheridan and Anita having lunch. Podward is flirting with Sheridan, but Anita doesn't know why. The reader doesn't know why, either, since Podward's legal identity is openly engaged. Nolan is there, suddenly, and he doesn't know why either. Note to author: this is too little, too late. It's sixty-three chapters in and we don't care about anything that isn't actual plot.

"Pearson apparently had decided to eat elsewhere, or was skipping lunch and holding Logan’s hand, or maybe beating the shit out of him. I really didn’t care which, as long as Logan was somewhere else. I knew I’d have to deal with him again, but later was better than now."

Spoiler alert - no, she doesn't.

Anita makes everything about here again, for the millionth time.

"Was Edward flirting with her because he saw an opening to manipulate her? Nothing specific, but just a possible way to gain an edge if he needed it. Was that it? If so, it was very calculating. He was my best friend; sometimes I forgot how cold-blooded he could be dealing with other people. Would he talk Sheridan into doing things we wanted and risk damaging her career? Would he care? He told me once that he’d tried manipulating me like a girl—i.e., flirting—and I’d been so oblivious to it that he’d stopped trying. I watched him with the detective and wondered how different things would have been if I’d been more susceptible to his manly wiles."

I call shennanigans. Actual!Edward didn't try anything of sort in the books, and I don't remember Podward doing that either. Except maybe the bed thing in the hotel, but that was more a laborious construction of the author so she could go "tee-hee" rather than an actual seduction attempt.

There's a weird couple of pages where Nolan and Podward laugh at a memory and refuse to share, and they keep laughing and Anita and Sheridan shake their heads as though this was a 50's sitcom. It's all framed in the kind of women vs. men bullshit from that same era, and it doesn't advance the plot in any way and it is far too late to start ham-handedly developing characters. We're sixty-three chapters in and we want plot, not stuff that could have been in the first two chapters.

"I finished my sandwich while they continued to do the straight-guy version of giggling. "

Oh great, more stereotypes. Hey Anita, the Doc is straight and I have seen him reduced to giggles more than once. It's something every human (and many other species!) is capable of.

"The flirting with Sheridan for whatever purpose was put on hold while the men bonded, or maybe rebonded. Between the flirting and this, my bestie was just surprising the heck out of me this trip."

Gods, you want to talk about neutering a previous tough character - calling Podward "my bestie" is the best way we can imagine to make him sound like he deserves a chair next to Anita at Weenie Hut Jr's.

Apparently they've decided to call someone named Jacob Pennyfeather, and I had to read quite a bit further to realize that it's actually Jake the ex-Harlequin, because the author's habit of only referring to people by their given names is really inconvenient.

"“Mr. Pennyfeather and his partner aren’t in the hallway to invite inside even if I were so inclined, Sheridan. It’s only Murdock and Santana on post currently.”"

This is where I figured out who he was, but only because I keep making Howlin' Mad Murdock cracks about Nicky's (ever-changing) last name so I realized that they probably had to be talking about the guards they brought. And now all the reader can picture is Murdock from the A-Team standing next to Carlos Santana outside the door (seriously, who is fuck picked Santana as a name and didn't think that was going to be an issue? Does the author only listen to music by white people or something an this was an actual coincidence?)

Some stupid dialogue breaks out about why they can't be in the evidence room and I have no idea whether Anita is okay with it or not. It's like the author has no idea how to write emotions that aren't "pissed off" that we actually can't figure out whether she's being snide or not. I'm guessing not, because normally Anita takes joy in driving people nuts (about the only joy we ever see her take in anything anymore, and that includes the boring repetitive by the book foreplay-less sex we have to slog through these days) and she isn't giving us a smug internal monologue about it.

At any rate we're saved from the inanity from a sudden influx of supernatural power. Anita concentrates and thinks there is a command for someone or something to come outside. Damien begins to thrash in his bodybag. Nicky enters the room (way to abandon your post there dude) and asks what's going on. Anita looks outside and sees "Domino in the doorway; he was still watching the hall like a good bodyguard."

Wait, Domino's name is Santana? What?

They let Damien out of the bag and he's upset because he can hear the Moro(ro)ven calling him even though technically Anita is his master now. Jake and Kaazim can hear it for some reason, and Domino can faintly, as well as Nolan, but no one else can. The wereanimals smell blood, which Pearson is surprised by (as previously noted this should be widely known so it's irritating) and he runs down the hallway.

"He didn’t answer, just took off and pushed his way past Domino and running down the hallway. Sheridan followed him, and so did Edward and Nolan.
I yelled, “Edward!”
He ignored it, because it wasn’t his name. Damn it. "


Anita, you are fucking terrible at this.

"“Go with them,” I said.
Domino did what I asked, but Jake and Kaazim stayed in the doorway. “Our loyalty is to you.”
“Damn it, then carry Echo!” Jake came to do what I’d ordered. Nice to know he listened to some of what I said. "


You know, Anita, the thing about guarding people is that you actually guard them and don't just do whatever they tell you to do. Idiot.

"Nicky tore the zipper away from Damian’s bag so that he was finally free; we helped him to his feet and started running out of the room. Kaazim was still helping Jake get Echo settled on his back. They yelled for us to wait. I listened to them as well as they’d listened to me: selectively."

I repeat: Anita, you are terrible at this. It's only because the author has decreed that you will never feel real loss that you and your equally idiotic loved ones haven't been maimed or killed because of your dogged determination to do things that absolute worst and dumbest way.

Tl/dr - Podward flirts with Sheridan for no known reason other than to kill more pages. Sandwiches are eaten. Names are dropped on the page with no regard for the reader. A command is issued and people run.
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